Essential Tips For Moving to the French Countryside

One of the first things you will notice when moving to the French countryside, apart from its strikingly beautiful scenery, is that the roads are clear. At night you can take a long drive, down smooth straight empty roads and exceed the speed limit. "Controls" are everywhere and you are likely to get breathalysed or at least penalised: this can be costly and dangerous. Wildlife, attracted by your lights, is likely to run out in front of you. Both sides of the roads have ditches and more than once I have seen cars end up in them. You will pass many villages, and find yourself wondering "Where on earth is everyone?" They are not in the bars because most close at around 8pm, if not before: the shutters on the houses are closed; there are few cars around, if any. Very few youths are on the streets and there are often no lights on anywhere. The place seems dead.

This struck me as very odd when I first moved from lively London, but I quickly learned that family and friends are very important here.

The chances are they're all in their own homes sitting around a dinner table socialising or simply watching television together: the lights unable to be seen because of the closed shutters. Paradoxically, when there is a village fête or festival (music, wine or food) you will find larger villages and even some of the smaller ones packed from early in the morning. The bars are open, and there is an incredibly sociable friendly atmosphere: an invisible population suddenly not only visible, but full of life. Villages often hold 'brocantes' (streets lined with stalls where people sell second-hand unwanted items): these too are popular and can start as early as 5am.

Moving to the French countryside is not just a case of packing your things into a van and moving to your new home. The French will not accept you that easily and you will feel isolated. Why? For one thing, they are not too keen on the English that move here and seek to establish themselves within English communities. Secondly, they take their time getting to know and trust you. The French are proud to be French and love to share their culture with you. Whether you agree with it or not, it is their culture and you have moved to their country. It is for you to make the effort. Whatever shop you go into, say "Bonjour" and when you leave "Au revoir" or "Bon journée". Not just to the shop owners, but to everyone who may be in there by adding Monsieur, Madame, Mesdames etc., depending on who is in there. Politeness is an essential part of French culture.

It is important to integrate and to get involved with the French Community. This can be done in many ways. For example:

• Introduce yourselves at the local Mairie. They can probably answer all your queries, like where to buy wood for your fire at the best prices. They may even order it for you. The Mairie is usually the first port of call for everything so it is important to establish a good relationship.
• Knock on a few doors to let people know who you are.
• Attend local events such as the music festivals, town fetes etc. Every village, no matter how small, has a Mairie and a church and there is usually a notice board outside the Mairie: this should be looked at often for news and events. Not far from any village is an Office de Tourisme and they are always up-to-date with what is going on locally and even further afield.
• Find a French / English group (the Mairie will know about these).
• Do your shopping locally: it is amazing how many people you meet.
• Learn some French and use it when you go shopping: nobody minds mistakes but they do mind if you speak only English and expect them to understand. It is doubly important when you need government bureaus such as for work permits, health care, tax registration etc: unlike in England it is unlikely that they will have someone who can translate for you.
• If you have children who are of school age, you will get many opportunities to meet other parents at the school. Get involved in the activities.

An oddity which takes a great deal of getting used to is the working hours. Supermarkets, DIY stores, shops, offices, and even petrol stations (except for credit card pumps) all close for lunch on the dot at 12pm: this can often be for 2 to 3 hours and no phones will be answered during that time. What the staff actually do in that time is still unclear to me, even after living here for four years. Restaurants and bars are open at lunchtime and lots of people flock to them for a plat de jour (dish of the day). Arrive between 12pm and 1pm or you are not likely to get served. Very few restaurants will accept you later than that. Similarly, very few restaurants will accept you after 9pm. So what do you do in the evenings here if you are English? You fit in with the French way of life. Get out and about during the day. Go to the bars, an internet cafe if you can find one, and anywhere where there are people around. Introduce yourself and you will soon become a familiar face.

Shops are closed on Sundays and Mondays but with slowly increasing exceptions. Finding a restaurant or bar open on a Wednesday evening is near impossible. In the summer many shops can close for a week or two, as they are on holiday. This can mean travelling many kilometres for basics purchases. It is important to be efficient with your shopping or you will frequently find yourself driving for many kilometres searching for a loaf of bread, in vain.

Accepting the French countryside culture can be difficult for the English. Whilst waiting at the checkout with your groceries, whether they are frozen or not, be patient. The person in front of you is likely to chat to the cashier thus delaying you. The same applies in the bakery, newsagents, the post office, and just about everywhere: it's far worse at Christmas when people often want their purchases wrapped. Most shops decorate their windows for Christmas and houses have fairy lights or little Santas climbing their walls: some houses are elaborately decorated. However, you will not receive a Christmas card and nobody seems to celebrate it in a big way: at least not in the same spirit as in England.

The roads are often narrow and it is not unusual for someone to stop their car and chat to someone they know: you wait, they will move on quickly enough. Toot your horn, as you would in England, but it will not be appreciated or understood: life here is relaxed and laid-back with none of the rushing around and stresses of a big town. Gossip and bad news travels faster than the post arrives, so it is important to establish a good rapport with the locals, and a good reputation.

If all this sounds a little difficult to cope with, it won't be if you follow the 'mingling' advice given above. Once you have established yourselves here you will find that people pop in to see you all the time. They often do not telephone in advance and can arrive at any time during the day or early evening. Far from being a lonely place, there is always someone who will visit you.

I have been asked by friends and family how I can stand living here "in the middle of nowhere", as though I were in solitude. I reply "I have never been so busy in my life". In summary, you will get what you want if you make the effort: respect the locals and they are sure to respect you.